Dear Aurora,

Last night, you and I were taking a bath (yes, I sometimes take a bath with you, as it keeps you calm and you enjoy playing in the tub with Momma).  You have learned to lay your head back to get your hair wet, and enjoy laying on my legs to keep your face above water.  Last night, you were using Daddy's soap to wash you legs, then you started to wash my legs; then my arm; my cheeks; my forehead; my eyes; my nose; and my shoulders.  My eyes are still raw this morning from wiping the soap out of them so many times.  I loved to watch your face as you were washing my face.  You were being such a little "mommy".  You were so focused, making sure I was clean, and then wiping the soap away with the wash cloth.  Thank you for taking care of me! :)

Last night, you snuggled close to me as we slept.  I don't think you moved away from me at all.  This morning when, I woke, I just watched you.  I love snuggling with you. 

I love you!

Mommy

She has a lot to say!

I know I always have way too much time in between posts, and they are always about what Aurora is up to now...but I'm busy enjoying what she is up to!  And sometimes remember to document!

Words/Phrases she can say:

• Is it (Where is it?)
• Sthat (What's that?)
• Mamaw (Just said this yesterday)
• Fish
• Wash
• Momma
• Dadda
• Bye Bye
• Baby
• Pumpkin (Kind of)
• Weeeeee
• Duck
• Turtle
• No
• More
• All done
• Up
• Puppy
• Book
• Ball
• Hi

That's all I can think of right now.  I feel like there's more...I'll have to add as I hear her say them!

Sounds she can make:

• Growling (Bear, dinosaur, lion)
• Hee (Horse)
• Woof Woof
• Meow
• Moo
• Honk Honk (Just started this week for a goose)
• Quack
• Bah (Just started this week)
• Tried Ribbit...working on that one :)
• Licks her lips for Giraffe
• AaaAaa (Peacock)
• Choo Choo

Once again, that's all I can think of for now!

She loves music!  Her favorite song to dance to is Pontoon by Little Big Town.  She knows it's that song from the 1st note played!

There's not a whole lot else going on with us.  Just working and playing.  We love our new house and are just enjoying life!

Learning so much!

Aurora Cecele,

I cannot believe how much you've grown, and how much you are learning!  In the last few weeks, it seems like you are learning something new every day!  On the few days I drop you off at daycare, I come back to some new "trick" or word that you've learned!  You pick up on new words that I say all of the time!

You can say the following
(These 3 sound almost the same)
Puppy
Bye Bye
Baby

Nose - and you know where your nose is, and everyone else's!

You say "Moo" and "Woof Woof"

You love to dance, and have new dance moves every few days.  It's great to watch you!

I'm almost positive you learned to say "please" yesterday at daycare. 

When I ask where something is, you hold your hands out to ask "Where is it" also.

You are starting to give hugs, and will give me the occasional smooch, if I ask for it.

Dada chasing you makes you "run" and squeal!

You are either trying to say Milk, or Me, or Mommy.  I'm not entirely sure, but I'm working really hard to understand you.

You love to play outside!

Watching you grow and learn is such an amazing thing!  I'm so happy that I am your Momma and that Dada and I get to teach you all this fun new stuff! 

I love you like crazy,

Momma

P.S. Dada loves to snuggle you and smooch you, so quit swatting at him! :)

Look at you Grow

My lovely little girl,

You are 6 and 1/2 months now.  You have learned so many new things!  Let's see what I can remember.

1. You have started rolling tummy to back, on purpose
2. You say Dadadada and HI!
3. You've learned to shake your head no
4. You brush your 2 bottom teeth, and love it!
5. You love bananas, squash, peas, cereal (it's grown on you), green beans
6. We are working on getting rid of the pacifier because you wake up mad when you've realized that it fell out of your mouth.  This is SUPER tough on Momma and Daddy!  We HATE to hear you cry like that.
7. You're starting to wave to Grandma Cindi
8. You love when Momma reads to you, although you'd rather read yourself
9. You enjoy being around people
10. People can't help but come up and talk to you

You've only been here a short time and we couldn't imagine our life without you!  We love you more than you will understand and are so proud of the big girl you are becoming!

My Dearest Aurora Cecele

Momma does not always/ever write eloquently, but I do want you to know so many things.  Things I have been thinking and feeling since you were born.  I'm sure you won't fully understand until you have children of your own, because there was no way I could have.  The easiest way for me to do this is to make it in a list.

1. I love you more than you will ever understand, and always will, no matter what!
2. I hurt when you hurt
3. Your smile melts my heart EVERY time
4. I want so much for you.  I want you to do so many wonderful things! 
5. Please know that teenage years are tough.  They are scary and hard and you won't always like them. 
• We will fight.  But always remember that I love you. 
• You may not always like what I say/do, but I am saying/doing it because I love you and only want what's best for you.  Your father will do his best to teach ME to let you try things even if I "know" a better way, but I can't promise I will learn this quickly. 
• I will punish you at some point, but it's to keep you safe.  
• Someone will ALWAYS be there for you!
• You can tell me and Daddy anything.  It won't always be easy, on either party, but we'll work through it.
• Never keep secrets from me or Daddy.  If someone tells you it's a secret and not to tell us, that is the thing that you MUST tell us. 
• Aunt Lis and Lindsey will be great resources for you!  They love you, as do many people.
• Don't be a bully!
• Don't let others bully you!  You will be a strong girl, use what I know you have already been given.  
• Stick up for others
• REMEMBER:  Teenage years will pass.  It could go into your 20's, but it gets better!  Momma survived, you will too!
6. I will not be able to stop smooching you, EVER!  Manah Manahm is tactile deprived, you'll learn! :)
7. I have never been so protective of anything in all of my life as I am of you (ask Daddy).  I won't always do it right, but I will do my best to keep you safe!   
8. I'm sorry that I will drive you crazy.  It is the circle of life :-)
9. It is amazing to watch you learn.  The faces you make are so cute!  I can tell when you are taking in something new, which is almost a constant at this point.  Your eyes light up and you are so focused.  Always keep learning! 
10. Don't forget to ask "Why?".  It will drive me crazy, but you will learn so much more.  Don't be surprised if I say, "Because I said so".  I may not have any better explanation at that point.  I will do my best though.
11. You are a very strong girl and will wind up being very independent. 
12. Be a positive influence on others
13. It is amazing to watch you grow and to be your Momma!  I love it!  It is the best job ever!

What you're up to at 5 months:

• Sitting up, almost completely on your own
• Sucking on your toes
• Eating squash, which you love!
• Not eating carrots, cereal, and sweet potatoes
• Still loving bath time
• Learning about gravity, so far in a non-painful way.  You pick up your toys and then open your hand to drop them.

REMEMBER:  Momma and Daddy love you more than you will ever know!  God loves you 100x's more than that, which is AMAZING!   

Oh the Places You'll Go...

My sweet baby is figuring things out already!  Some of them may be on accident, but not without some effort!  Today my wonderful little girl let me experience her 1st time rolling over.  I was so worried I was going to miss it.  I laid her down on her tummy, in her crib so that I could pick out an outfit for her.  I was watching her as she was pushing up, and she pushed with her left arm and rolled to her side.  I was so excited and was going to grab her to put her back on her tummy, but figured I'd wait just a little bit.  Within 15 seconds she had wiggled enough to completely roll over to her back!  I was so excited that my screaching was making her squint, as if she were saying, "Momma, it's not that big...you can calm down."  And then I started to tear up because she let me see her do that for the 1st time!

Now, tonight she did another thing that she has been working on.  This wasn't her 1st time; I guess you could call her 3rd time...that we saw anyway.  She finally got her thumb in ther mouth!  We have an ultrasound picture of her doing it, and then the Sunday after she was born she was able to get her thumb in her mouth as well.  For about the last week she has been sucking on her fist, trying really hard to get the thumb in there.  Tonight, as she laid on my lap and was fussing, she was able to finally get the thumb in her mouth without the rest of her fist!  This is bittersweet because we didn't want her to be a thumbsucker, but if she sucks the thumb then maybe it won't be as bad since she can't lose it. 

It may be a little while before she does these things again, but then again, maybe not.  We shall see!

Her daddy says she'll be doing calculus next! :)

The Details of How the Stork Brought Aurora!

So here's how the events unfolded to bring us our sweet "little" girl.

We were scheduled to go to the hospital on Thrusday evening to start the induction process.  Josh and I grabbed some food, and took our last drive as a family of 2.  We needed to kill some time because we couldn't just sit at home and wait.

We got to the hospital a little early, and sat downstairs...waiting some more.  Finally, we went upstairs to get checked in.  They asked me a bazillion questions, Josh went and got all of our stuff, and then came the IV.  I warned the nurse that I don't do so well with needles, so it was best to leave me lying down.  She had to dig a little to try to get to the vein.  After what felt to be about 5 - 10 minutes of trying she said she was going to bring the anesthesiologist in to do it because she was good, and was still having a hard time.  So the anesthesiologist came in and numbed my arm and then put the IV in.  I think that was probably the worst part of the whole thing!  Well, minus the contractions...more on that later.  By the time the whole IV thing was over, I was a little woozy, so they had to get a cold compress so bring my color back.  I tried telling them I didn't do well with that stuff :)

After the IV they gave me Cervidil, which was supposed to be the precursor to the Pitocin.  I was supposed to get the Pitocin 12 hours after the Cervidil.  Anyway, the nurse who gave it to me said that it most likely would not send me in to labor, but may give me some contractions.  It definitely gave me contractions!  I got the Cervidil at about 7:30 or 8:00pm.  I started feeling the contractions within the hour.  That nurse also told me to order something to eat because this was going to be a long process and I wouldn't be allowed to have anything to eat, except clear stuff after I went into labor. 

The nurses switched shifts, so I got a new nurse.  She told me that if I wanted she could give me some Nubane and Ambien which wouldn't completely stop the pain, but may make it manageable so that I could rest.  I told her I would try to hold out.  I didn't want to be loopy or make the baby sleepy, which I had read that stuff would do.  At about 11:30pm, after talking to Josh and him letting me know that if I was feeling this bad all night, it was going to be a long night, so we called the nurse in to give me the medicine.  She said I could have the Nubane every 2 hours.  When she gave it to me, she had to check to see how far along I was.  I was only at 1-2cm.  So she gave it to me and I was able to rest for a little while, maybe an hour, because the 2nd hour I was breathing through the contractions.  By the time the 2nd hour was up I asked her to bring me some more.  She came back in and said she needed to check me again before giving it to me.  At that time she said I was about 3cm and she could feel the bag of waters.  I told her I needed to pee before I took more medicine.  I went in to pee, got up to wash my hands and felt like I had to pee again, so I went back to the toilet.  Before I made it to the toilet I thought I had peed and though I missed the toilet.  I looked down and yelled out to the nurse that I thought my water broke.  I sat on the toilet and then started to feel really bad.  The contractions changed suddenly and I yelled to her that I thought I was going to be sick.  And I was.  So all the food I ordered before came back :)  This all happened at about 2:30am.  Also, there was a full moon at 2:39am.  Josh called both of our mom's to let them know.  Cindi came on up.  Mom stayed back because we thought there was still some time.  At about 3:30am Josh called my mom and told her she had better come up.  So she got in the shower and started coming up around 4:30am.

At that point she asked if I wanted an epidural, and I said yes.  She said I had to get a bag of IV fluid 1st because epidurals make your blood pressure drop.  It took about 45minutes to an hour for the fluid to drain.  During that time the contractions just kept getting worse.  I was doing my best to breathe through them.  She had already called the anesthesiologist, and wanted to check me again before he came in.  I asked her what her guess was on how far I was.  She said she though 6cm.  I told her I was hoping that but figured I'd only be 5cm.  She checked and I was 8cm!!  At that point, she went to check to see where the anesthesiologist was.  By the time he got there, my contractions were HORRIBLE!  The nurse asked me what my pain level was...I told her a 7.  In between contractions, I told her I didn't know what I was saying then, it is definitely a 10!  I had never felt anything like that before.  They told me to sit on the side of the bed.  The nurse was in front of me trying to keep me calm and breathing.  At one point, I told her I wasn't feeling well.  I think I then burped and Josh said she kinda jumped because she thought I was going to get sick again.  Before the anesthsiologist stuck me I told the nurse I felt like I needed to push.  She asked if I felt that every time, I told her every other.  She asked the anesthsiologist if he wanted her to check me...he must have said no because he just kept going.  I know you're not supposed to scream because that is not productive, but I was pretty much yelling, like crying without the tears.  They wanted me to sit still, but it hurt so bad that I was jumping out of the bed.  Josh was having a hard time because he could see how much pain I was in.  He just wanted them to hurry up and get the epidural going.  The anesthsiologist was finally able to get the epidural in, and I was so greatful.  I told him how wonderful he was! 

After that it was kind of a breeze! :)  The nurse told me she didn't want me to push yet because she wanted the contractions to do more of the work for me, otherwise I'd be pushing for 2-3 hours.  So we waited a little longer.  I think around 5:45am she told me I could start pushing.  She told me I had to do a good job at pushing because the doctor doesn't like to get there until I am 15 minutes from delivering.  So I was doing my best.  I could tell when I was doing a good job by the facial expression on the nurse.

Now, during the whole pregnancy Josh said he wasn't looking below the belly.  He didn't want to see any of that.  I had no problems with that, I didn't really want to see either.  Well, when I started pushing the nurse said she could see the head and there was a lot of hair.  She asked Josh if he wanted to see all the hair, and he told her no.  She said, "Really?".  So at that point, Josh decided to take a look.  She asked if I wanted to look, and I said I was good.  After that, all plans changed.  Josh was busy holding one of my legs while I pushed.  Those legs are heavy! :) 

During the pushing they had me do 3 counts of 10.  At some point it went to 4 counts.  Josh was getting a little frustrated again because when they were counting to 10 they started to slow the counting down.  Josh was concerned cause I wasn't breathing during that time, I of course, had to hold my breath.  There was only one time that I stopped pushing in the middle of their count of 10.  It was burning, so I stopped, they urged me to keep pushing and push through it.  Blah!

By 6:36am we had our little girl!  When she came out I was waiting for someone to tell me if the baby was a boy or girl.  I was looking at the doctor, the nurse, Josh...no one was saying anything!  I don't think Josh could see.  I looked down and the umbilical cord was in between her legs and I couldn't see.  The doctor finally put her on my belly and I could see that she was a little girl!  I yelled it to Josh and told her we had our Aurora! 

I got to hold her a little before they took her to check her out.  When they took her I told Josh to go talk to her because she was calm on me but when they took her, she was upset.  So I wanted Josh to go talk to her so that she would have a familiar voice.  He went over there and just stared.  I had to tell him a few times to talk to her.  He later told me that he didn't know what to do...he was kind of scared of her.  He finally snapped out of it and started talking to her. 

That's the long story of how our Aurora Cecele made her appearance!

Wiggle Worm

The 1st time I felt the little one move was on Super Bowl Sunday.  Baby Wisby must have been cheering for one of the teams.  It was a tiny little tap.  I wasn't even sure I felt it.  I felt "something" a few more times that week.  After that week, this little one has been a non-stop mover!  I love feeling the little one every day!  "He's" even awake with me when I get up to pee in the middle of the night, or when I roll on my other side while sleeping.  I'm sure he'll get stronger, and possibly wake me up at  night, but for now I only feel it when I'm awake.

Josh maybe, kind of felt him a few nights ago.  Hopefully soon Daddy will really be able to feel the little one.  It's tough because Baby Wisby doesn't like to move consistently.  He'll kick once and then not for another hour, or a few times and then not again for a while. 

I'm getting more and more excited, nervous, anxious, overwhelmed as the time goes on.  It's all good stuff, but there's so much to be done.  I just don't know everything.  I guess that's something all moms go through. 

Things I've learned about pregnancy...

Here are just a few things that I've learned about me being pregnant:

1. My boobs are HUGE!! =)  At least to me.
2. My nose is very stuffy!
3. I am thirsty all of the time!
4. My lips are HORRIBLY chapped!
5. At 16 weeks, I am still in my regular clothes and barely showing.  No one else can tell, but we can a bit.
6. Sitting next to the breakroom at work is dangerous!  Every time I smell something, I immediately start to crave it!
7. I only felt yucky until week 9.  That's pretty awesome!
8. I have to look at something 24 hours later to see if I still like it.
9. There is a lot of information on everything you may or may not need for the baby.  And there is too much crap!! 
10. I am kinda grumpy/irritable lately...just ask the hubby.

That's all for now. 

Also, I found a few more color schemes that I liked.  Actually, both of these are pretty much the same.  The ones that I posted before are definitely cute, but possibly a little too classy for the Wisbys =)  These are a little more our style.

What do you think??

We couldn't be happier!

It has definitely been a while.  I haven't posted because I was trying to hold in the excitement and would not be able to post without talking about it. 

Our prayers have been answered!  God has blessed us with the opportunity to be parents.  Our little one will arrive around July 12, 2011.  We couldn't be happier!  We are truly blessed!

Now, we are planning to wait until the little one is born to find out if it's a boy or girl!  But for now, I want to document some of the gender neutral things that I like, such as bedding and rooms.  This is just information gathering at this point.  If anyone has any really good gender neutral room and bedding ideas, definitely let me know!

I don't want the African theme, but I like the colors in this one:

Almost 2 Years...

Josh is on a long road trip.  He drove down to Tennessee this afternoon and turned right back around to drive up here.  He's gonna be sleepy, but it's nice that we can do things like this.  He can call me up in the morning and tell me he's going to Tennessee, I can call him up and tell him I'm heading to DC.  Not that we really ever get to do this, but it's nice that we were able to this time. 

It will be our 2 year anniversary in a few days.  Almost 2 years ago, I had the time of my life!  I'm married to a fantastic man who has made life interesting ever since I've met him!  And I swear he is a comedian! =)

Things that my husband has done for me over the past 2 years of marriage:

• You are the funniest person I know
• You don't like to see me sad or cry and do everything you can to make me smile
• You always give me a "bite" even when I know you don't want to
• You almost always save the last bite for me, unless you "forget"
• You forget things, or don't pay attention...A LOT =)
• I enjoy just being with you...I enjoy just being, with you
• You listen to me and usually take into consideration the "suggestions" that I make...and yet it seems that I am either eating my words or laughing because it actually works when you do it and it may have taken a "tiff" to get that far :)
• You are an amazing partner
• You push me and have so much confidence in me
• You enjoy my independence and encourage me to keep it, even when I don't feel like it!
• You allow me to see a person that no one else gets to see
• You love me for me

Thank you Joshua, for making the past 2 years amazing!

I love you!

Why I can't sleep

There needs to be some sort of  switch for my brain!  I need to be able to turn it off for bed time!

Things that are currently not allowing me to sleep:

• Looking for a home
• Build or buy "Used"
• Can't find any home in the area we want with the 3 criteria
• Who do we need to talk to to build
• Church
• Lumber Stores
• Family
• How much can we spend
• How long will it take us to save the Down Payment
• Baby
• What are the next steps
• What is plan A, B, and C
• How much do they cost
• How long will it take
• What is the opportunity cost (There's my Econ degree)
• People who don't like me or are mad at me
• You don't even know me
• I would never purposely or knowingly do something to hurt you
• I may seem mean at 1st, but give me a day and you'll see it's because I'm a little shy
• I hate confrontation, but I would rather talk it out than not talk at all
• School
• Should I go back
• What does Josh need to do to go back
• How much will that cost
• Opportunity cost
• Budget
• What are our new goals after paying the loan
• How is Mallarie's going
• Vacation
• Can we go with Jessica and Dave
• Do I save more so that I have more next year

When did I become such a Type A personality (The test I just took said I'm in the middle)??  Seriously, do I have to have a plan at all times to be happy?  Am I really the type who is this discombobulated without a plan?  I understand we're in the beginning stages of starting a newish chapter...or maybe a few new chapters, but I'm not a big fan of feeling this out of place!

Catch up...

So...Josh was gone for 8 days visiting family out in Wyoming.  I had to stay back to work, so I missed out on playing with the family.  On the bright side, Josh gets to see his sister twice this year!  Anyway, he's back and I'm so happy about that!  Although, I'm trying to figure out how to sleep with his whistling again =).

On the baby making front...we did go back to the doctor today.  Good news...Josh is fine!  All his tests came back great!  Even the one that caused us to do these additional tests!  Apparently it's all about timing!  But...trying to time him with me is going to be tough!  As my mom said, "It makes you wonder how accidents happen."  As I say...the Lord is definitely teaching me patience!

The next step is the fertility doctor.  This will help us figure out how aggressive to be.  Hopefully we'll be able to get some answers on what we should do.  I need to know the odds for all of the options.  If we go the least aggressive route, how long will that take and will it actually work, or is there a 5% chance it will??  If we go the medium route, how much more of a chance is there that will work better than the 1st.  Hopefully we'll know something a little more by next week!

Right now...definitely enjoying spending time with hubby!!  He's busy watching Dazed and Confused right now.  Of course this is a movie that he'd love! =)

I have an amazing family!

I have an amazing, faithful, caring, selfless family!  I have always known that my family was here to support me, be here for me and celebrate with me...but you don't always get to see it.  Of course it was prominent at our wedding!  That is why we women cry, because we see how much we are loved by so many people and it becomes overwhelming...in a good way. 

And the neat part about my family is I'm not just talking about immediate family.  I am talking about 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 4th cousins a gazillion times removed.  When something is going on in our family, EVERYONE knows about it.  Some people don't like that, but in our family it is followed by support, love and LOTS of prayer! 

Josh and I are definitely on the receiving end of a lot of that, and lately we hear more and more about how many people in our family are praying for us.  Because my family knows EVERYTHING, they all know that we are having some difficulties in the baby making arena.  And because they know that, they have been saying many prayers.  I have one cousin who has put us in the prayer book so that the nuns at church are praying for Josh and myself.  My mom spoke to the priest who married us and he asked that I call and speak to him.  After giving me a name of someone to speak with, he said he would be saying prayers for us.  My aunt just sent us a card that said that a votive candle has been lit for our intention for the next 365 days and that we will be included in the thoughts and prayers for daily mass.  One of my other cousins gave me the same prayer card she used when praying for her little miracle who finally made his appearance.  My Godmother is saying prayers.  My cousins are saying prayers.  My granny and my aunt gave both Josh and myself medals.  And we have many friends who are praying as well.  They are included in this amazing family!  And these are only a few that I know about. 

I know that there are a lot more prayers going on and Josh and I are so very grateful!  This is just one of the many reasons why I have such a fantastic family!  Not just because they're praying for this purpose, but because they care so much about us and want so much for us.  I am a strong believer in the fact that this is one of the main reasons that I am so calm through this whole process.  Don't get me wrong, I do get very impatient at times, but even if it comes down to us not being able to have children, I am still very calm.  I know there are other options and am just excited about the opportunity to teach and care for one of God's babies...not matter how that little one may come to us!

I just wanted all of my family to know how much we love you and how much we appreciate all the support, love and prayers! 

And Baby Wisby...one day you will see this and know how much you are truly loved...even before you were with us!

Camping

So the hubby and I went camping this weekend. We went down to Brown County. It was a great weekend!

We went down Friday night ready to set up! Got to the gate at about 9:30. Josh talked to the guy and couldn't find our name. 15 minutes later they discovered that the person who booked us, reserved Saturday night/Sunday night. So we had to pay for an extra night and take the only site available. Now, mind you, this wasn't the site that we were reserved for, so we had to move by 2:00 on Saturday. Oh well, at least we get to practice putting up the tent!

Now, the site we were given was the 1st one you saw, so everyone drives by it. AND there wasn't a great spot to set up camp! It was either on the gravel, which I was concerned about a hole in my...I mean our...tent. Or set up on a slant. 15 minues later, we finally made the decision. Guess who slept, rolling down the hill! =) We finished setting up at about 11:15.

Josh woke up bright and early Saturday morning. If the sun's up, so is my hubby!!! He took a walk, came back and woke me up. We took a short bike ride and then went hiking for about 2 1/2 hrs. That's a lot of hiking for this girl!

After hiking we came back to tear down the tent and move to our next site. This spot was a nice spot. We were a little closer to our neighbors, but at least we weren't rolling down a hill! Then we got cleaned up so that we could go into town and look at the shops. We walked into a few and then found a cute little place to eat.

That was pretty much the most exciting stuff. We just came back started the fire and relaxed until bed time. Josh went on a hike Sunday morning before we left. I decided that was my chance to sleep in! :)

We're excited to go back! There are a lot of things to do there.

Next weekend Josh is going camping/boating with some guys from work and I'm heading to Mom's to go canoing! Woohoo!

Faith & Mortality...this is a little deep

Sometimes while I'm falling asleep I'll lie in bed and listen to myself breathe. That then turns into feeling my heart beat as I lie on my side. After about 4 beats, I start to get a little nervous and think of how hard that thing works. Then I start to think about it not working any longer. That then turns into thoughts of dieing and then what comes after death. Mind you, this is all while I'm lying in bed trying to go to sleep! Not very relaxing and calming, nor is it sleep inducing.

I have grown up in the church all of my life. I have believed in God all of my life. But that thought still creeps in my head as I'm lying there feeling my heart beat and praying that it keeps beating for a while...what happens if there is nothing there after I die? Things were so much simpler as a child. I knew for sure where I was going when I died. I knew I would see my family members who have passed before me. I still believe, but there is that slight doubt that creeps in. I know that is Satan working his magic...but sometimes it makes me think.

My mom always told me that we fear the unknown. And this is an unknown, sort of. With faith, it is not unknown, but the details are still fuzzy. Besides, it's better to believe, because who really wants to think that there is nothing after this life??

It's been crazy busy!

Wow! I have not had any time for anything lately!! Things have been absolutely crazy! I have been so unbelieveably busy at work. We just hired a new person and he is fantastic! I am doing the best I can to get him up to speed and he is all over it! I see good things happening.

No new news on baby making. We see a doctor in a little less than a month to see what some next steps are.

I'm trying to decide if I am ready for a promotion. I can do it, but I am unsure if I am ready for the stress when we have the baby difficulty. I will have so much resentment toward my company if something happens. And we all know stress causes issues. I am still praying about that and trying to figure out which way God wants me to go.

Logan is getting married this weekend! I can't wait to celebrate with them! It will be great! Love you chicadee!

Results

So the results came in last Friday. I haven't really felt like writing about them, but I suppose I should. They came back abnormal. Not sure exactly what that means, since all we can do is guess what the results mean at this time. We have an idea, but we don't know what comes next. We have an appointment with another doctor to figure out the results, but that isn't until mid August. That is the earliest we can get in. So, right now we're just waiting...again.

All on His time, and He likes to make that perfectly clear to me! =) But in the meantime, he may be opening some other doors. I have applied for the Director position at work. I am completely nervous and excited about it! We'll see how that goes!

I hope everyone had a good 4th!

Still waiting...

Still no word yet! Waiting for results! That means we have to wait another month...or at least try the same method for another month, before adding on a new one.

The waiting could be a slight blessing. I mean...of course it's a blessing. Things got a little crazy at work this week. My manager is no longer with the company, which leaves an open opportunity. This is going to be a crazy challenge, but I'm ready for it! Have to interview and everything, of course! Wahoo! =)

More waiting...

If nothing else, the Lord is teaching me patience. I swear I have not been praying for it! If anyone out there has been praying for patience for me, please stop! =)

So, I had to wait until my period started to figure out when to take the clomid. Well, period started Saturday. You would think that would be a good thing. Weeeeeeeeeeell...you have to start taking the clomid on day 5 of your cycle. So, starting Saturday, that means I have to start taking it Wednesday. Well, just to be sure we're not missing any steps, hubby needed to get checked. We got the information in the mail on Thursday, he called them on Friday to make the appointment for Monday (today). It takes 3-5 days to get the results back. Both Josh and I have spoken to both locations to see if there was anyway to "Rush order" the results. Of course, that was a no go. So...if we're lucky, we will get the results back on Wednesday. Josh has pointed out, several times, that nothing comes easily for Wisby's. Well, since I am now a Wisby, I suspect that the results will come in to us on Thursday! Which is one day too late! That means we have to wait until next month to start. I know, I shouldn't be in such a rush, and should be patient. But dog gone it!! I've been waiting for this step for quite some time.

Apparently PCOS is hereditary, or can be. Well, my mom had it and now, so do I. My mom had me just fine, but she had to take clomid to get my brother. I am hopeful the clomid will work and am ready to take it! Just have to wait and see I suppose!

I'll let you know when the results come in!