Sometimes while I'm falling asleep I'll lie in bed and listen to myself breathe. That then turns into feeling my heart beat as I lie on my side. After about 4 beats, I start to get a little nervous and think of how hard that thing works. Then I start to think about it not working any longer. That then turns into thoughts of dieing and then what comes after death. Mind you, this is all while I'm lying in bed trying to go to sleep! Not very relaxing and calming, nor is it sleep inducing.
I have grown up in the church all of my life. I have believed in God all of my life. But that thought still creeps in my head as I'm lying there feeling my heart beat and praying that it keeps beating for a while...what happens if there is nothing there after I die? Things were so much simpler as a child. I knew for sure where I was going when I died. I knew I would see my family members who have passed before me. I still believe, but there is that slight doubt that creeps in. I know that is Satan working his magic...but sometimes it makes me think.
My mom always told me that we fear the unknown. And this is an unknown, sort of. With faith, it is not unknown, but the details are still fuzzy. Besides, it's better to believe, because who really wants to think that there is nothing after this life??
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