Faith & Mortality...this is a little deep

Sometimes while I'm falling asleep I'll lie in bed and listen to myself breathe. That then turns into feeling my heart beat as I lie on my side. After about 4 beats, I start to get a little nervous and think of how hard that thing works. Then I start to think about it not working any longer. That then turns into thoughts of dieing and then what comes after death. Mind you, this is all while I'm lying in bed trying to go to sleep! Not very relaxing and calming, nor is it sleep inducing.

I have grown up in the church all of my life. I have believed in God all of my life. But that thought still creeps in my head as I'm lying there feeling my heart beat and praying that it keeps beating for a while...what happens if there is nothing there after I die? Things were so much simpler as a child. I knew for sure where I was going when I died. I knew I would see my family members who have passed before me. I still believe, but there is that slight doubt that creeps in. I know that is Satan working his magic...but sometimes it makes me think.

My mom always told me that we fear the unknown. And this is an unknown, sort of. With faith, it is not unknown, but the details are still fuzzy. Besides, it's better to believe, because who really wants to think that there is nothing after this life??

It's been crazy busy!

Wow! I have not had any time for anything lately!! Things have been absolutely crazy! I have been so unbelieveably busy at work. We just hired a new person and he is fantastic! I am doing the best I can to get him up to speed and he is all over it! I see good things happening.

No new news on baby making. We see a doctor in a little less than a month to see what some next steps are.

I'm trying to decide if I am ready for a promotion. I can do it, but I am unsure if I am ready for the stress when we have the baby difficulty. I will have so much resentment toward my company if something happens. And we all know stress causes issues. I am still praying about that and trying to figure out which way God wants me to go.

Logan is getting married this weekend! I can't wait to celebrate with them! It will be great! Love you chicadee!

Results

So the results came in last Friday. I haven't really felt like writing about them, but I suppose I should. They came back abnormal. Not sure exactly what that means, since all we can do is guess what the results mean at this time. We have an idea, but we don't know what comes next. We have an appointment with another doctor to figure out the results, but that isn't until mid August. That is the earliest we can get in. So, right now we're just waiting...again.

All on His time, and He likes to make that perfectly clear to me! =) But in the meantime, he may be opening some other doors. I have applied for the Director position at work. I am completely nervous and excited about it! We'll see how that goes!

I hope everyone had a good 4th!

Still waiting...

Still no word yet! Waiting for results! That means we have to wait another month...or at least try the same method for another month, before adding on a new one.

The waiting could be a slight blessing. I mean...of course it's a blessing. Things got a little crazy at work this week. My manager is no longer with the company, which leaves an open opportunity. This is going to be a crazy challenge, but I'm ready for it! Have to interview and everything, of course! Wahoo! =)